Share Your Struggles

It’s curious how much effort I put into convincing others that my life is perfect – that I never struggle, make mistakes, or experience pain. I’m fine. I never have any issues.

It is curious not because I’m hiding the truth, which I am. It’s curious because I know everyone struggles. No matter the person, we all make mistakes. We all face pain. We all fail. We all get stuck.

When I hide my shortcomings and struggles, I lose an opportunity to share what I learned. I miss a chance to help others.

The struggles in my life are not unique. Chances are good that if I’ve had a challenge in my life, someone else faces a similar one. Others can benefit from my learning.

They can benefit from your struggles too.

***

bump, bump, bump
along the bumpy road
stories after stories
ready to be told

We perceive the world through story. It’s how we think. In sharing your struggle, use the medium of story.

Without the story your lesson becomes weaker. It loses its context and personal connection.

You could write the story. Post it on a website or forum. Put it in a book. Or send it in a short note to a friend.

You could speak the story. Have a conversation with a friend over dinner. Present to a group of people.

Above all, live the story. Apply the lessons you learned. If your life is different because of them, people will notice.

Leaving my full-time job as an engineer was a big step for me. Afterwards, I wrote about it. I described the struggles I dealt with, the advice I found helpful, the steps I took, and the results of my actions. By putting it in a story, I provided a path for others who face big challenges.

Use stories to share your struggles.

***

tell about the bumps
not for pride
that you endured them
but rather so
others
may drive safer

As you share what you know with another person, maintain a mindset of service and love. Care about them.

The purpose for sharing your struggle is not to boast or judge. The purpose for sharing is to help someone. No matter how good or valuable your advice is, people won’t listen if they perceive you don’t care.

It can be tricky to gauge whether you have the right motives or not. I know I get it wrong sometimes.

A measure I find helpful is gratitude. Am I grateful for the lessons I’ve learned? Am I thankful for what I have and want others to experience the same? Am I happy for the opportunity to make a difference in the life of another? If so, then I’m likely acting in love.

Recently, I dealt with a stressful situation. After struggling for a while, I was able to find peace. Full of gratitude, I shared my story with others so they could experience a similar calm.

Speak with love, and people will listen.

***

how the dust whirls
how the mud splashes
all who’ve traveled
these rugged roads
know you tell no lie

Embrace the messiness of the struggle. Tell the parts where you failed. Share the depths of your pain. Doing so makes the story real.

It shows people your mindset. It lets them know you’re not being judgmental or arrogant. If you were, you’d never admit you made an error.

But most importantly, the messiness offers hope. People can identify with you. They can see themselves in your struggles and failures. They can see that you’re not so different than them. And if you’re not so different, then your success may not be so different either. What worked for you will likely work for them.

When my grandfather died, I felt grief and loss. So I didn’t hide that hurt when I shared my experiences. It allowed me to connect to those who have also experienced such loss. It let me offer hope to them, just as I found hope.

As you share your story, don’t ignore the inconvenient or difficult parts. They make your story valuable.

***

roads of struggle
lead from one person
to another

Whenever I share my struggles, I notice another curious fact. People trust me more. They think more highly of me.

We long to know the people around us are real – that they have threads in common with us. Struggle is such a thread.

And it ties us together.

***

What are some struggles you’ve faced recently? What did you learn from them?

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PHOTO: Travelling this road is a struggle.

PPS: In case you missed it, we’re in week two of our kindness mission.