Is Your Suffering Unnecessary?
On Sunday mornings in the summer, my wife and I like to stop by the farmers’ market. We wander through the displays of fruit and vegetables. We pause to chat with some of the farmers. And often, we pick up a loaf of bread from a local baker.
The price may be higher than in a supermarket, but I’m happy to pay. The bread is worth it. Today’s selection of olive bread looks delightful.
Reaching home, I pull the loaf from the bag and take a sniff. Mmmmm. I break off a piece and put it in my mouth. It’s dry.
My heart sinks.
Taking another bite confirms my initial judgement. The bread is stale. It may have good flavor, but it’s not fresh.
I brood over the loaf.
Even though I can change my attitude – or walk a block to the farmers’ market and exchange the loaf for another one – I choose to do nothing. I choose to accept the default and let the situation bother me.
I create suffering for myself.
***
into the oven
the baker does not follow
her fresh loaf of bread
On a scorching summer afternoon, my wife and daughter wait on the train platform. The shade of the shelter offers little relief from the heat. Thankfully the train arrives soon. The cool of air conditioning awaits.
They enter the train car, and the doors close behind them. A wave of hot air washes over them. Due to a malfunction, the heat is on instead of the air conditioning. It’s hotter in the car than out.
At the next station, my wife switches train cars. This one is much cooler.
She looks through the window to the car she was just in. Despite the high temperatures, most people chose to stay there and remain uncomfortable. They chose to stick with the default.
They created suffering for themselves.
***
the baker’s worry
does not help the dough to rise
or gain rich flavors
Suffering may be a part of life – and much of it is beyond our control. But in many cases, it’s avoidable. Often, we are the cause of our suffering.
We make insignificant matters worse than they aught to be. We worry about the future. We cling to past failures. We whine about the present. We refuse to change a bad situation.
Life has enough trouble of its own. There’s no need to add to it.
just a little bit
of active yeast can work its way
throughout the whole dough
It’s bad enough that we suffer. Yet we are not the only ones affected. We cause others to suffer as well.
A bad mood is contagious. My misery over the loaf of bread caused my wife anxiety.
Negativity affects relationships. I allowed a single, accidental experience to redefine my relationship with the bakers – making me less likely to buy from them in the future.
you can see dead wheat
cut and ground and oven scorched
or you can see bread
Breaking free from suffering requires initiative. You have to create change.
That change could be an action – and maybe even a small one. The people in the train car only had to get up and walk a few steps to another car. I only had to walk a block to the farmers’ market.
Or that change could be a different attitude. I could have chosen to enjoy the bread even though it was stale. I could have chosen to be grateful for what I had.
if left on their own
the grain and water would not
combine into bread
Sometimes we need the help of other people. As I brooded over the bread, my wife told me I could either return it or stop complaining. Her comment forced me to make a choice.
If you’re stuck with your suffering, seek out the help of other people. If you see someone struggling, speak wisdom to their situation.
***
sun and rain and wind
all rest in a humble slice
of delightful bread
I stand in front of the baker’s table at the farmers’ market. “Hello, I was here a little while ago and purchased an olive bread from you. Unfortunately, it’s a little stale.”
“I’m sorry about that. Would you like to pick out a different loaf?”
“That would be great. I’ll go with a sourdough.”
“Sure.” She takes the old loaf and hands me a fresh one.
“Thank you.”
On my way back home, I open the bag and tear a piece from the loaf. I put it in my mouth. It’s delightful.
###
PHOTO: Delightful loaves of bread.