When Faith is Gone and Hope has Faded

From deep within the rhythms of the heart
Come forth wonderful thoughts and emotion
With words they into the wide world depart
To sing your stories across the ocean

It is with language that you can often find meaning. With words, you describe great and wondrous thoughts. With words, you explain deep and powerful emotion. They are the window to the soul – letting life go freely out and in.

Then there are days the songs do not go out
When you find no words with which to sing
And you cannot see anything but doubt
Abandoned by the words so comforting

Sometimes the words fail you. Sometimes they run away.

***

First to go are love’s sweet and tender notes
And all you hold to becomes a fluster
When from your spirit comes no joyous quotes
The silence is all that you can muster

The words of love fade away. Those near you bring hurt and misunderstanding. Communication breaks. Listening ends. And in the space of the pain you wonder if you shall ever choose to find friendship again. Why did you open yourself up? Why did you dare to be so vulnerable?

Step back from the world of chaos and fear
Try your best to ignore the lies they speak
And to your core and deepest self draw near
Find yourself in the solitude you seek

Get away. Sit awhile in the quiet. Learn again to love yourself. See the beauty within. For it still lies there.

I sit in my chair. I dwell on who I am. For who I am has not changed.

And if you are unable to do so, and even if you are, seek out a friend – someone that still holds your trust. Confide in their company. Let them love you. Let them fill you.

I converse with those I hold closest. I voice to them my frustration. They give wise words and comfort.

And then go love. Become the love that has abandoned. Show it to those who have hurt you. For if it be true, it will come back to you.

***

Hope is at times the butterfly in flight
Dancing freely in the air around you
Only to fall so harshly from your sight
As if it were stunned by a stone thrown true

The words of hope fade away. Something that seemed so bright appears to be gone forever. The light goes out, and you find yourself wondering why you bothered dreaming. Why would you open yourself to such disappointment?

Go and tend to that fallen butterfly
See that the stun was just temporary
Push it lightly into the summer sky
See it spread wings and again be merry

Finding hope is an act of remembrance.

Remember what is good. And even though it may seem there are few things to be thankful for, you should be able to find at least one. Cling to that.

I am thankful that I still say we. Even though some bring me hurt, I still identify with them.

Remember what you had before. Think of the times and joys that once were. Be thankful for the chance to have had them.

I think of the laughter as I welcomed many into my house. I am thankful for the bonds of fellowship.

Remember those around you. Friends still care. Family still walks by your side. Let them speak the words of hope you won’t speak for yourself.

I find my wife. I find my friend. They remind me of what I still have. They offer me encouragement.

Remember life.

And as you remember, the faintest of rays shines upon you. Then another one appears, and then another. Though the light may be dim, you will find it enough to light your path.

And so I move forward yet again.

***

Faith that once stood as an iron castle
Wavers though it be made of sandy grains
What was once for sure waves as a tassel
And now you wonder what of it remains

The words of faith fade away. That which you believed so deeply to be true leaves you empty. God, whoever or whatever that may be for you, falls silent. You wonder why you dared trust in the first place. Why would you open yourself to such frustration?

Seek once again those most sacred spaces
Wander once again on that holy ground
Travel once again to treasured places
And speak with your silence and with your sound

You will be reluctant to go there. For when you enter those spaces, the unpredictable may happen. What is deep within may come out, and you are left with nothing but to face it. Go anyways.

Despite my hesitations, I come. So here I am, writing. It is all I know to do. Sometimes that is enough.

Give your questions to the silence. Swear if you have to. And when you have let them echo, when you have given them the respect of words, you find a strange sort of peace. Even though the answers are not there, speaking the questions brings some comfort.

I pour my heart into words. From my hands flow my doubts and questions. And by the end, I am no closer to finding what I seek. Or maybe I am. For the burden no longer remains locked within.

Give it time. Let your mind wrestle and your heart search. Trust that you will find what you seek.

***

For your heart and soul it does not bode well
When in the empty land you wander long
Ever strive to end that most barren spell
Find once again your notes and sing your song

Do not linger in the space without love. Do not dwell too long in the place without hope. Do not spend too much time without faith. But for these, what do we have in life?

***

What do you do when the words run away? How do you find them again?

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Fragile as hope. I made this photo in Grand Rapids, MI.