Fundamentals of Humanity

As I advance in Taekwondo, I learn new techniques and movements. They push me further in my ability. They demand practice.

But those moves only take up a portion of our training. Most of each class goes to the basics. We practice simple strikes. We work on our stances. We repeat our early patterns.

All the advanced moves depend on the earlier ones. Small mistakes in stance or form amplify as the techniques get more complicated, weakening the technique and requiring more effort. The continual development of the fundamentals creates mastery.

But what about humanity? What about life and relationships? Do I devote the same attention to the basics? Do I train in the fundamentals of humanity?

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Letting natural responses guide my way
Letting the autopilot run its code
But there are times it’s best to stop and say
Let me direct the travels on life’s road

From the moment you were born – and probably before that – you’ve been figuring out how to live. You look to others for guidance. You try countless experiments and learn from each of them – often without thinking about it. You adapt. You train in the basics.

Sometimes though, making a deliberate study is helpful. Take an active role in learning and understanding.

Direct attention
To the way you live your life
See what you should change

Be mindful of how you live. Pay attention to how you do certain things. You may find things you want to work on.

Notice the defaults and hidden assumptions. They influence your behavior more than you think.

As you watch, you gain insight into methods of improvement. You see small changes that could have large impact.

Be still a moment
Study those all around you
Watch the basics

Be still for long enough to watch the world around you. See what people do and how they respond. Learn from everyone.

Think of people in your life that exemplify the skill you want to grow into. Ask them for advice. Most people are happy to share the insights they’ve gained from experience.

Then take what you’ve learned and apply it to your life. See how the wisdom of others fits in what you do. The lessons are worthless if you don’t apply them.

Read some non-fiction
Take the advice of an expert
Compressed in book form

Books help you learn. They bring together the essential and significant findings from the author’s research. In a small and manageable package, you get the benefit of years of experience and understanding.

Made up fairy tales
Though from imagination
Have echoes of truth

While non-fiction writing often has the more direct and academic information, fiction writing speaks clearer. Your mind sees the world in story. And in following a heroic character through a book, you witness how she responds in different situations. You see how she builds trust with her companions. You watch as she inspires the people around her.

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The building blocks may not get much of thought
They seem as boring as the humble earth
But out of them relationships are wrought
They support the things that give life its worth

The building blocks of humanity are the skills that uphold your value, develop relationships and build community. These are a few that I’ve focused on.

Communication
Will you listen to their words
Will you tell yours too

Communication starts with listening, paying attention to what other people say and want. When I understand before speaking, I can communicate directly to them. I understand what they need and want. Just as important, I honor the other by giving them attention. People love being heard and acknowledged.

I learn to write well. I can’t always meet face to face. Sometimes, I need to communicate with a letter, email, or report. Those require written words.

From my experience, you can focus on two main areas to improve your writing. First, practice as much as possible. You’ll learn by doing. Second, focus on simplicity. Write just like you would talk.

One of my college professors told us: “One thing I hate is when someone has a bad idea but communicates it well enough to gain acceptance. But one thing I hate more than that is when someone has a brilliant idea but communicates it poorly.” Don’t let your message be ignored. Train in the art and craft of communication.

Tools of persuasion
Foundation of friendship
Building up trust

Persuasion gets a bad reputation from people who use it to manipulate others. But it’s a necessary and important skill. We use it all the time to deepen relationships and community.

Growing up, I’d use the tools of persuasion without giving much thought too them. I did them without thinking. Recently, through books like Influence and How to Win Friends and Influence People, I’ve added study to my practice.

I use it when I build friendships. A common connection introduces me, building trust. I identify and talk about similar interests. I participate in activities we both enjoy. They do the same for me.

I use it when I help a loved one. I give evidence to why an action is beneficial to them. I show them hope through stories and examples. I rely on the trust they have for me.

Studying and learning persuasion has application beyond getting what I want. It helps me recognize when others are trying to influence me. Most of the time, I’m fine with being persuaded. But in some situations, someone may pushing me to do something that’s not in my interests.

How much do you give
How much do you bless others
It’s worth the effort

Around the holidays, you may hear the saying that it’s more blessed to give than receive. That proverb is worth applying to the rest of life.

I reflect on the people I love and appreciate. What often stands out is how they give to others or to me. I strive to imitate their example.

Generosity is an act of openness. It’s saying yes to those around me. It’s giving the best of who I am to another.

Generosity is giving everything I have and then finding that there is still more to give.

These are but a few
Of the fundamentals
What are some of yours

What are the basics of your life? How do you train in them?

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In Taekwondo, we do not train in the basics for their own sake. They are tools. They support a state of being – a mindset of a martial artist. They bring strength. They empower.

So it is with the fundamentals of humanity. They are not an end. They’re about making life deeper, richer, and overflowing with abundance.

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Studying the basics of humanity. I made this photo in Evanston, IL.