Elevate Your Internal Story

I am without value. I go to work and do the boring tasks I’m told to do. I feel hopeless.

This is the story I once told myself. This is the story I acted out of.

I am priceless. I strive to live into that value and help others do the same. I feel hopeful.

This is the story I tell myself. This is the story I act out of.

What you tell yourself determines your actions. It defines your default responses, operations, and emotions. It drives your character.

Growing requires elevating that internal story – making the effort to change how you see yourself. That shift in mindset is an active process. You have to climb the mountain.

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You’re not the first to scale the rising mounts
Legends have journeyed on the path ahead
You’ll find it wise to study their accounts
So you may follow carefully in their stead

Raise your story by studying the stories of heroes. Find people that exemplify the character you want to grow into. Let them be your teachers.

Heroes inspire you. I love reading about people that showed great courage and lived out their values. They strip away my excuses and narrow perceptions of what is possible. They dare me to go further than before.

Reading a collection of writings by Gandhi challenges me. To see someone live into his love for others is powerful. He practiced what he spoke and let his life be his message. That makes me want to rise toward his level.

Heroes give you a model to follow. They are an example – adding depth to your understanding. You see how they live out their values in a variety of circumstances.

One of my heroes is my father. He’s shown how to value people. I watch when he greets and talks with the strangers he meets. I observe as he interacts with his friends and loved ones. He is someone to imitate.

What heroes live out the qualities you want to add? What can you learn from them?

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The distant mountain’s peak appears a speck
Watching from heights above so proud and tall
But if you don’t decide to make the trek
You’ll never reach to any high at all

Raise your story by deciding to do so. Everything comes out of your choice.

Choose the character you desire. Maybe you choose love of humanity. Maybe you choose patience. Maybe you choose artistry. Maybe you choose generosity. The important thing is to decide.

I’ve found that it’s more powerful to focus on process rather than outcome and character rather than morality. That provides a tool-set that works in a variety of circumstances. It gives you a foundation of flexibility.

Remember that nothing is also a choice. Each event and situation either grows your character or weakens it. There is no middle ground. You go backwards, or you move forward. Choose to grow.

Deciding to be someone starts you on the journey. The choice drives you to take action.

I choose to be someone that values humanity. From that, I show respect to those I converse with. I say hello to the homeless man on the street corner, acknowledging his presence. I don’t berate myself for my shortcomings.

Who do you want to become? Will you decide to become that person?

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When the journey becomes at times torment
Try pretending you’re an expert climber
With thoughtful steps you’ll make a slow assent
With repeated actions you’ll go higher

Raise your story by pretending to be better than you are. Pretend that you’re more generous, more loving, or more forgiving. Think of how you would act if that were so. Then do the actions. Step into character.

Start with small things. I find I’m more likely to follow through with the actions that way. And the action is the important part.

Your mind maintains a running story of who you are. It also strives to keep that story consistent. How you act shapes that account.

Showing kindness to someone implies your story is one of love. Creating art implies you are creator. Giving thanks implies you are gracious.

Pretending helps you change the actions your mind uses to create the story. For the first while, you have to consciously think about what you do. But as your actions feed into a different story, they become more natural – more a part of you.

There were times at Sargent & Lundy when the work was not interesting or enjoyable. If I was to be a person of joy, I had to pretend it was pleasant.

I started by searching for the little moments of interest and celebrating them. As I began to find contentment in parts of the work, I looked for ways to find it elsewhere. The work was still the same, and it was still not the most exciting. But I learned to appreciate it.

From my change in mindset, I was also able to see opportunities for projects that I could initiate. Those projects were some of the most interesting work I did there.

What will you pretend to be? How will you act it out?

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The journey upward has no single way
There are many ways that you can wander
Test your assumptions every single day
You may find surprises over yonder

Raise your story by experimentation. Test your hidden assumptions. Find out what works.

Give your tests a limited time frame. Having an end in sight pushes you to follow through. I’ve found 30 days to be a reasonable length.

Choose an experiment that’s manageable. You don’t need to test every part of your life at once.

Reflect on what you’ve learned. Write it in your journal or talk about it with a friend. That helps you internalize your findings and notice other assumptions worth experimenting with.

I recently started greeting everyone that I pass on the sidewalk. My reaction is often to look down, choosing to stare at the dirt rather than risk someone entering my private world. The notion is ridiculous when you think about it, but I do it all the time.

With that simple change, I’ve grown more comfortable with interacting with complete strangers. I probably still won’t go up to them and start a conversation, but I will look them in the eye and acknowledge their presence.

I’ve also found that most people are happy to respond. Human connection is beautiful no matter who you are. People are friendly if you let them.

What assumptions can you test?

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Elevating your story is a process – a lifelong journey. But, looking back at the changes in my story, I can tell you it’s well worth the effort.

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Climb into the clouds. I made this photo near Interlaken, Switzerland.

PS: If you’re interested in more of the psychology behind this principle, check out this essay by David McRaney.