Embrace Sadness

Was I so miserable when I used to travel to work? Did I have the same look of dread I now see on countless faces on the subway? Did I stare with a tired and blank expression?

Crisp tie. Shined shoes, black or brown depending on the day. Ironed pants and pressed shirt.

As the train makes its way downtown, I stand with straight shoulders and a soft smile. I look to my fellow travelers with a touch of sadness. Their misery, the same misery I once knew, burns me. So despairing. So hopeless.

All around them is beauty. All around them is life. And they don’t see it.

I feel for them.

Leaving the station, I pass a man sitting on the sidewalk, asking for money. His eyes look downward. A small sign pleas on his behalf: I’m homeless. Please help get me something to eat. God bless you.

Worn clothes. Holey shoes, the same pair no matter the day. Wrinkled pants and crumpled shirt.

As I pass, I stop with a greeting and soft smile. I look at my fellow human with a touch of sadness. His poverty, the same poverty I witnessed in Kenya, rips me. So devalued. So wasted.

In him is beauty. In him is life. And we don’t see it. He doesn’t see it.

I feel for him.

***

That sadness, though it hurts, is as an old friend. It teaches me.

Give notice to whatever makes you cry
Heed how you feel in what you see awry
So you may discover all that matters
Have the call of hope dancing in your eye

Sadness reveals my purpose.

My previous website started with discussions on power technology. But those didn’t move me. I shifted toward questions of sustainability. But they didn’t move me either. Then I started reflecting on the people affected by energy issues.

I felt for those people. As I explored and wrote about them, I began finding the underlying thread of humanity. I started seeing the things that mattered most to me.

That shift led to the foundation of this site, the Bright Army. And as I began, the sadness pushed me forward.

It’s a deeps sadness too. I’m hurt to see so many people live lives that are broken. Tears fill my eyes when I see the consequences of our poor decisions, of my poor decisions.

When you embrace sadness, you may find a different calling. The sadness shows what matters to you. It tells what you care about.

When you feel the great dissatisfaction
Your direction gives up all abstraction
Inspiring you to bring about the change
You find that you are moved from inaction

Sadness pushes me to act.

For many months now, I’ve had in mind to write a manifesto. It would be a deeper look at living a life of humanity, an anchor piece for my mission, and a way to help people.

I fought that manifesto. Gaps separated bursts of effort. After a bit of work – a few hours, days, or weeks – I’d put it aside, only to feel guilty about not writing.

The problem was my reason for doing it. I worked on a manifesto because I was supposed to. People told me I needed one if I wanted to spread my work. But that wasn’t enough.

In the last several months, my purpose shifts. I find again the sadness that drives my vision for the Bright Army. I feel the desire to help people. The need compels me to write. And I do.

When you embrace sadness, it may drive you help others. From the purpose and understanding, you feel compelled to act. And you do.

Let the sadness rest upon you lightly
Let it burn the fire within you brightly
Know it as your faithful friend and teacher
Let it guide the path of yours so rightly

When you feel that sadness, pay attention. When you see a wrong in the world that bothers you – that leaves you feeling empty, learn. Your sadness has much to show you.

***

Those sad faces on the train. What if they knew? What if they saw in themselves what I see in them? What if they knew how magnificent they are?

Those lowered eyes on the street. What if they received? What if they got the dignity they deserve? What if they understood how beautiful they are?

So I write. I tell of the love I see and share the value I observe. I give it to them. I give it to you. I give it to myself.

***

What about you? What moves you to sadness? What does that sadness reveal to you?

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Empty commute. I made this photo in Evanston, IL.